Welcome to "Beyond my bump: Stories of the Fourth Trimester," a new series where we delve into the journeys, challenges, and triumphs of the first milk-soaked months of motherhood. We begin with Anna Cave Bigley, Co-Founder and CEO of The SABI.
After the traumatic birth of her son Lorenzo, Anna grappled with postpartum depression, questioning everything from her relationships to her own existence. Feeling isolated and overwhelmed, she tapped into her inner strength and business acumen. Marrying her skills to a greater purpose, Anna and her business partner created The SABI, a wellness brand creating all-natural skincare and herbal remedies for hormonal balancing.
Combining traditional women’s medicine and the best of modern technology, The SABI leverages the magic and science of plants fto support women throughout the hormonal journey.
This is Anna’s story of resilience and growth in the fourth trimester.
It wasn’t until my son was placed in my arms
...that it really sunk in that I was a mum. The emotions were overwhelming but I was lucky in that my love was immediate, intense and breathtaking. I was beautifully surprised by how incredible it felt, although, I was struck with immense anxiety and hormonal dips. I very quickly lost my sense of self and who I was.
The early days of motherhood were challenging
...it took a while to adjust to the new balance and to find this new version of me.
The first year was incredibly bumpy as I was (unknowingly) deep in the depths of Postpartum Depression and was suffering from huge anxiety surrounding the safety of my baby; so I spent most of the time checking he was still breathing!
One thing we don't discuss enough is the change in couples
...I went from being madly in love and so centred on my partner's needs, to pushing him away, feeling distant, believing he couldn't possibly love me and disagreeing with almost every decision we made together about our baby.
One day, around 3 months into parenthood, I had a sudden 'ah ha' moment: my partner and I only knew how to be lovers –we needed to learn how to parent together.
From then on, when I felt frustrated I'd take a moment to acknowledge that he was a loving caregiver, just with a different parenting style.
I learned to love my mum body
...as I realised a new lack of self-confidence was affecting my relationship. My own internal critique about my physical worth was pushing him away. And so I donated the clothes that didn't fit and invested in my new body. I focused on increasing my physical strength, the quality and health of my skin (hence The SABI) and started sourcing select clothing for my new body and new lifestyle.
During the day practicality rules. I want my clothes to look professional during meetings but allow me to run around and crawl on the floor with my boys the moment I get home. Transitioning is key.
"Motherhood brings so many changes - both beautiful and challenging - to your identity, relationships, body & hormones."
Despite suffering with postpartum depression
...there were so many beautiful moments of pure joy. I remember listening to "You'll Be in My Heart" by Phil Collins and just crying with happiness, and love (and probably fear). Even though I look back and still deeply wish I hadn’t suffered what I did, I have so much love and gratitude for those early months getting to know my little guy, learning who I was becoming, and learning to trust my intuition.
It is more common than you think
...to not feel ok. Postpartum recovery can take up to a year; don’t underestimate the power of your hormones. Rebalancing takes time and the dips come in waves. Replenish the lost nutrients. Remember to look after you. And if you are not ok, ask for support. It is out there. Needing help isn’t a failing.
Life now is beautiful and sometimes hard
...but I carry motherhood with pride, strength and huge enjoyment. I work incredibly hard building The SABI, which is difficult as a mother of two very little ones, who I am truly obsessed with.
When we are together - I insist on putting phones away and focus on diving into their world; creating beautiful memories that we will all cherish forever.
If you buy one thing from The SABI...
... make it our Mama Recover Herbata, a beautiful postpartum infusion that's designed to restore lost nutrients and reduce the hormonal dips that can happen postpartum. With the birth of my second son I used it daily during the first few months (cycling for effectiveness) and then from month 3 onwards it was my Sunday night ‘go to’ after a beautiful and intense weekend with the boys, and to prepare myself for an undoubtedly intense working week ahead.
[If you think you might have postnatal depression speak to your health visitor or GP. You can also access support via Pandas, Mind and Birth Trauma Association.]
