Content note: This interview includes references to maternal mental health. If you’re struggling or need to talk to someone, support is available. You can contact your GP or Mind for confidential advice and support on 0300 123 3393 or visit  mind.org.uk

I became a mum in 2016 when Summer arrived by emergency C-section. Later, when pregnant again, I hoped for a VBAC with Dylan, but after my waters broke and three days passed with just two centimetres dilation, I had another section. My C-section recovery dragged more than I’d imagined — but the second time, I rested hard: I stayed in bed for 10 days, and it made all the difference.

I found knowing what to wear really tricky postpartum, especially with my little c-section pouch. I got back to my "pre-baby weight" but my body shape changed. I put my favourite clothes back on and they didn't fit like they used to. Underwear and trousers would finish in places that would hurt my incision. I stayed in baggy clothes for ages. Even now, I don't wear jeans because they irritate my scar.

I really struggled to figure out who I was in the beginning. Going from being a PA in Soho to spending long, quiet days alone with Summer was a huge adjustment.

I didn’t go back to my old job. They could only offer a slight reduction in hours, so I chose to work two days a week with my husband and be home with my daughter the rest of the time. It was the right decision for us, but I remember crying to him, asking, Should I have gone back? I felt like I’d let go of who I was — and it took me well over a year to make peace with that.

Women’s health — our hormones, our mental health — still isn’t taken seriously enough, especially after having a baby. It’s normal to have tough days, but if the sadness lingers or starts to take over, it’s important to reach out for help. I had moments like that after having Summer — days where I hadn’t moved from the sofa by the time my husband got home from work. Luckily, I had great support around me, and it passed.

I found it hard to find my mum tribe. I’d force myself to go to baby groups or coffee dates, but some mums had such strong opinions on things like sleep — or were weirdly competitive about milestones. I’d make the effort, then come home feeling worse. Luckily, my sister had a baby six months before me, and eventually I met other mums through nursery — but in those early days, I just couldn’t find my people.

Breastfeeding was the thing I found hardest in early motherhood. The only way that Summer would latch on was by using a nipple shield. A midwife came to see me, and told me off, saying the baby wouldn't be getting enough milk. She was so rude to me, it really knocked my confidence. But Summer was happy and with the shields she fed like a dream. 

I still use hypnobirthing skills now. I found the breathing techniques so useful postpartum, and meditation really helps me since having my babies too. It feels good to zone out from what's happening around me, especially if I'm feeling nervous or dealing with sensory overwhelm. If there's a decision I'm struggling to make, I have to go meditate for a little while. Before I launched The Mutha Project there were moments when I was meditating three times a day!